i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
