And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The adults are the big ones right?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
