i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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