You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My breasts were aching with rage.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
