There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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