Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
