Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
