girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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