The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
