3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sarcasm needs its own font
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
