carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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