i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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