Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
