they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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