butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
