I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize