just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
