he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
