Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
