Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize