It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
