did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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