Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize