ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
