Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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