would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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