i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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