Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
