I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
