You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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