She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
