remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
