Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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