No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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