Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
