1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
as a side note pls kill me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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