either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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