is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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