Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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