He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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