Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
