My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
