I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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