you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
