Soap is not a condiment
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
