it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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