Define "chronic" masturbator.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
