Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
