So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
