why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize