I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
