Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize