does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize