ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
