he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
