judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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