Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was confusing and full of hummus
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
