So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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