It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
