You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
