I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
